help i'm in free fall

2020. THE YEAR OF CLEAR VISION. The year to move everything off my “Wuzgonna” list and do it. Because suddenly it felt like there were many more years in the rear view mirror than in front of me, and if I was going to “manifest” those goddamn “goals, which are dreams with a plan,” then if not now, when?

I can't ask for help. There is something sticky and immovable inside that prevents me from doing so.

SO I DID. I started eating super healthy and logging each meal, each snack and even each bite in my “Lose It!” app, and as I watched the number on the scale move downward, I started walking around the block and working out with weights in the “Women Only” workout room at my gym until I had lost enough weight to gain enough confidence to walk into a Zumba class. As soon as I did, I was infused with rhythmic energy that eventually led to becoming a Certified Zumba instructor and Before & After pic that my daughter created and texted to me that was suitably dramatic enough to post:

I’m terrified that my After pic is going to be my Before pic before this COVID shit is over

Got my headshots. Subscribed to all the casting rags. Showed up at the gym at least 5 times a week and became one of those gym rats and did not care a whit if that annoyed anyone. This was MY LIFE, and I was grabbing it by the balls and squeezing! Uh….

Actually, that’s a terrible metaphor.

But things were starting to HAPPEN.

Randomly assigned 3 essays: Disciplined, Feisty & Funny. Random?


HOW EMBARRASSING! After much procrastinating, I finally posted something, I thought, but it didn’t show up where it was supposed to… was in my feed? Not a post? Where is it? Great. I had been searching for the “perfect” way to reappear on my page so that friends and fam would see me, know I’m …

It started snowing.

On the first snow day of our “new normal”, baking cookies is not optional. It’s the only thing to do in this house, which is why I’m searching for the premiere oatmeal cookie recipe.